President Trump’s re-election campaign is already an “unstoppable apparatus,” according to Trump’s campaign, and that doesn’t come cheap, Stephen Colbert said on Monday’s Late Show. “Trump’s already rakin’ in money. On Friday night he spoke to Republican donors at Mar-a-Lago, and things got a little weird.” For example, Trump brought up his “Tim Apple” slip, for some reason. The jokes about his flub were “all in good fun, and it was over,” he said, “but now it has re-blossomed into a national scandal that we’re calling Applegate (Not Christina).”
Trump reportedly told the donors he actually said “Tim Cook Apple,” but nobody heard the Cook part, Colbert said, laughing. “Mr. President, words don’t just disappear from the middle of sentences — unless it’s CBS bleeping me when I say excuses like this are [bleep] insane,” he said. “Even Trump’s own donors, who had to donate at least six-figures to get into this event where he told this lie, knew the story was nuts.”
“Do you know what I like about this one? It’s just dumb,” Trevor Noah said at The Daily Show. It “should have been just a fun slip of the tongue — we laugh, we move on — but because Donald Compulsive Liar can’t let anything go,” he keeps on dragging it out, including a laughable tweet on Monday. Noah moved on to other recent “fun Trump highlights,” like the resurgent “Fake Melania” fake news and “another story that Trump wishes was fake news,” involving Patriots owner Robert Kraft, the prostitution-linked “day spa” he allegedly frequented, and Kraft’s friend Trump.
The former owner of the day spa, Li (Cindy) Yang, watched the Super Bowl with Trump at his Florida club, “and it’s not just that she’s taking photos with the president — it’s that she might be pimping him out, too,” Noah said. “How does every scandal somehow lead back to Donald Trump? Like, this dude is like the Kevin Bacon of corruption.” Watch him demonstrate below. Peter Weber