“Bill Barr is traveling the world trying to prove that all of Trump’s conspiracy theories are true. He’s going to find Obama’s birth certificate. He’s going to find all the people that aliens abducted from Trump’s inauguration crowd, and finally bring help to hurricane-ravaged Alabama.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Yep, he asked Australia to work against U.S. intelligence. Today Trump said, ‘Everything’s the opposite down there, so it’s technically not treason.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“And last week, the attorney general traveled to Italy, where he met with senior Italian government officials. Really? Italy? Either Barr is on a worldwide collusion tour, or he’s on a journey of midlife discovery called ‘Eat, Pray, Lie.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“The question is: Who is the whistle-blower? The president is desperate to find that out so he can then commit even more crimes.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“There’s a viral video of this beverage cart at O’Hare airport. Jim, it’s spinning, it’s spinning … it’s gonna hit the plane. Oh! It just barely misses the plane and blam! Forklift guy saves the day! A tip for any passenger flying on that plane: Do not order anything carbonated.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“You know who else liked that video? Donald Trump. It’s true. I’m not making that up. Trump retweeted it with the comment, ‘Great job, just in time!’ Got a lot of time on his hands. Cat’s got a lot of time on his hands. I agree, Mr. President. I think we can all relate to the story of a dangerous, out-of-control thing being stopped just in time.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“The president can relate to this beverage cart because he’s also full of Diet Coke and spinning completely out of control.” — JAMES CORDEN

“That is the craziest thing I have ever seen at an airport. Well, I mean the second craziest thing. The first is the price of a muffin at Au Bon Pain. I mean, $12. That thing better have Wi-Fi inside of it.” — TREVOR NOAH

Lin-Manuel Miranda brought his “Freestyle Love Supreme” castmates to “The Tonight Show” for an impromptu performance about pet peeves.

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